Melissa Thinks Out Loud

The Why & How of Being Happy Now & Always

The secret to being happy is to be happy.

Okay, that post is done, what next?

Seriously, the real secret to being happy is to choose to be happy right now.  Choose carefully what you focus on in your life and you can choose happiness. Choose to focus on all of the sadness, disappointment and frustration in your life, and I can guarantee you will get more of the same.  Turn your focus to the daily joys, laughter and love and again, you will get more of the same.  Here are some do’s and don’ts to keep you on the happier side of life.

Does the Universe/God Read Facebook?

You better hope the answer to that question is NO!!!!  Status updates are like little beams of intention being shot out into the universe and I have serious concerns about some of the things I read on a daily basis.  The “why does this always happen to me” status updates make me nuts.  Guess what?  It always happens to you because you just wrote that it always happens to you.

I have had my moments where I have written less than positive status updates, but I try really hard to keep myself from doing it.  There is absolutely no reason to affirm unhappiness in my life by writing it down and blasting it to the universe.  So, if you want to be happy, start by posting happy status updates. Instead of focusing on your frustrations, focus on what is going right in your day right that moment.  Over time you will find this easier to do, and it can be almost like a little gratitude/happiness journal for you!

Being Happy to Get Stuff - Not a Good Plan

One of my big pet peeves with the Law of Attraction craze is that many people are forcing themselves to be happy and/or grateful for the sole purpose of getting stuff.  They read and hear that gratitude and a happy attitude are a key to the LOA, so they are making sure to practice gratitude and trying to be happy in the moment.  Sounds like that would be a great thing, right?

unfortunately, there is a problem with this approach in that It is not sustainable because it is simply a means to an end.  If you were to learn that no matter how grateful or happy you were, you were never going to get rich or get that big car, or great job, would you still do it?  If the answer is no, you can kiss all that stuff good-bye anyway.  If you answered yes, than you are truly happy and living the good life anyway, so who cares about the stuff?

“Uh, Melissa, please tell me you aren’t becoming one of those stuff-is-bad types!”

Not to worry dear reader, I am just trying to make sure that you realize that the goal in life is to live it today and to be happy and grateful today.  Tomorrow may never come.  Stuff, money and power are just stuff, money and power.  Emotions and connections are real and they are what will be left of you after you are gone.  Look at all of the unhappy millionaires and celebrities in the world.  If money and stuff were so great, they’d all be exploding with joy.  Instead so many  of them are lost.  That isn’t because money and stuff are bad, it’s because they lost sight of what really matters deep down inside.

Please don’t let that happen to you.  Focus on the feelings and the connections to your friends, families and communities and you will find happiness.  You may also get some stuff along the way and that would be really cool.

Be Happy All the Time?

When I speak of happiness, I’m not talking about skipping down the street whistling a jaunty tune happiness.  I am talking about a feeling deep within your heart that things are good and right.  I hesitate to use the word contentment because that carries with it a stigma of settling for something in a negative way for many people.  Taking stock of your life and your blessings is a great way to start on the road to continual, sustainable happiness.  Life is generally good for most of us and the more you realize that the happier you will be.

The blessings part is easy.  If you are reading this I already know that you are way better off than the majority of people alive on the planet.  You have an internet connection, which generally means you also have access to clean running water, food, shelter and medical care.  Chances are you are not dodging bullets on your way to the market, and you don’t live in fear of missiles landing in your village or your children being sold into slavery.  These are all reasons to be happy, very happy!

What I find humbling is that people who cannot say the same still manage to laugh, sing and love.  If they can do it under their circumstances, what excuse do we have for being miserable?  I now that it is all relative, but come on…do we really have it that bad????

Life will throw us all some pretty major curve balls along the way and we may even get hit by a few pitches, but in the long run we will still laugh more than we cry.  I have been knocked senseless a few times so far on my journey, but even while scraping the ragged pieces of my heart up off the pavement, I knew moments of peace and joy.  I knew that I wasn’t alone and that no pain, no matter how great, would last forever.  That knowledge alone was cause for happiness and that kind of true happiness can be with you always.

Can I Still Have the Stuff?

My heartfelt advice is to work on cultivating a true attitude of happiness and gratitude and worry about the stuff later.  Once you get your heart, mind and soul straight on this path you will know what ”stuff” you really need or want.  What you think you want right now might not be the right stuff (pardon the movie pun) for you.

So you could be focusing your visualization, hard work and dream building on something that will never be yours because God and the Universe know it doesn’t really belong with you!  Even worse, they could let you have it as a lesson to be learned, and that lesson will not be pleasant! I got a job like that once.  I pushed and pushed the universe and I got a job and it was the most miserable work experience ever!!!!!  I will NEVER do that again…at least that’s what I though until I started pushing again last year, but more on that later.

Here’s something I would like you to try for the next month.  Instead of telling God and the Universe what you want, ask them to show you what they want for you.  Instead of having specific intentions, hold in your heart the overall intention that whatever is best for you will come your way.  This is kind of an homage to the “let go, let God” message of my youth.  I believe this will be a very eye opening experience for many of you who have been pushing so hard for “stuff”.

I know this to be true because I was making this mistake myself.  Go back and read some of my earlier posts, and see how badly I wanted a new house.  I used to spend each night visualizing my dream house. I even had pictures of it on my desk and I truly believed it would be mine.  Luckily for me that dream didn’t come true!  Today I know in my heart that our home is exactly the right place for us. It is so filled with good vibrations and love from the family of 6 that were the original owners, and by our happy little family!  We feel so, well… at home there!  Nowadays the idea of moving actually makes me sad.  So go figure!

How about my work from home being a writer dream?  Yup that was the pushing I mentioned earlier.  Well, someday I believe that will happen…actually I know it, but as hard as I pushed it always seemed like something was pushing back even harder.  Then I stopped pushing and told God to do His thing and, voila,  here I am loving my new position and looking forward to each new day!  Funny how this role didn’t even exist and then, POOF! it was dropped in my lap.  That one really made me step back and think and has kept me thinking for the past four months.

As a result of letting go, I actually got stuff, just not all the stuff I thought I wanted.  Still, I did get more money so I can get a lot of the little stuff that I have dreamed of, and that makes me very happy.

Where to Start?

Start by making a list of all the reasons you have to be happy right now, today.  From there start taking a hard look at your motivations and your intentions.  Do you feel anything pushing back when you are pushing forward on a dream?  Are you motivated by the stuff and not the emotions?  Is it time to let go and just let happiness find you?

I am setting a specific intention right now, actually.  It is that someone will read this today and find their way to true happiness.  Will it be you?

The Downside of Doing What You Love

We have all heard repeatedly that to be successful and happy we should do what we love.  Many, many people that I have spoken to over the years have shared the joy and triumph they have felt by making their passion into their profession.  Strangely and somewhat sadly, what I have come to find in my own life is that when I try to make my passion into a profession, I end up profoundly unhappy.

I have found that what I once loved to do becomes a "must" and a "should", and we all know how I feel about those!  The joy and excitement that I had once associated with scrapbooking became dread and frustration when I began scrapping and designing as a business.  As time progressed I became more and more confused, as an activity that I once found freeing began to represent restriction and struggle as I was trying to build it into a business. 

Now that I have returned to scrapbooking and paper crafting as a hobby I am once again hopelessly in love with paper and embellishments and I look forward to all the little moments that I get to play with my stash of scrapping goodies.

Okay, so maybe that wasn't what I was supposed to be doing according to the Universe and God.  I can buy that.  So, I tried something else.

Last year I began working towards making my writing a full time profession.  I have been writing since I could hold a pencil, and I actually wrote my first novel at the age of 9. It was a horrible piece of work, but I spent every night that summer watching Yankee baseball and typing my heart out on an ancient manual typewriter. That summer is one of my favorites ever! 

Upon beginning the process of being a professional writer, something began to change. While I loved being able to dedicate time to writing because it was "work", and not goofing off in some way, over time the familiar frustration began to set in.  Why wasn't my writing catching on as well as I had hoped?  I began to doubt my skill and worthiness.  Anxiety became associated with my love of writing and my passion for words.  

Once that happened, the love started to become overshadowed by the doubt and I was not a happy girl anymore. 

In the meantime, my job presented me with a role that allowed me to perform functions that bring me pleasure and enjoyment or at the very least give me a sense of fulfillment.  At the end of each day, while I may be frustrated or a bit stressed I find that I am actually happy in my job and that I am doing what I love.

So this all makes me wonder...

Does doing what you love mean to take a hobby or activity that you love and turn it into a profession?  Does it mean to find roles that allow you to do enough enjoyable tasks that allow you to create a happy and joyful, yet productive and lucrative life?

Maybe I'm just too sensitive about my creative pursuits to allow them to become something that I am judged by either through criticism or mere web popularity. Perhaps it was just too much like being told I had an ugly or stupid child.  Whatever the case, I know that it did not work out for me at all.

For now I will concentrate on loving my job, and enjoying my passions on an amateur basis, and maybe someday down the road they will meet and I will be pleasantly surprised.

How to Keep the Faith for the Long Haul

It's so easy to have faith for the moment, for the day, for the week, heck a month isn't even so hard.  Why does faith become harder over time?  Why does our faith falter?

I think faith and willpower operate along the same lines.  How easy is it to say no to sweets during the first few days of a diet?  How much harder does that get in week three?  How gone is that willpower the first time PMS rears its ugly head?  I believe it is a lack of focus.

In the beginning of any new venture we focus hard and focus often on our goal.  Whether it is losing 20 pounds or believing in our dreams, we devote tremendous energy to seeing the result and concentrating on all of the steps we need to take to get there.

Then as the days go on  we start to focus on other matters and push our goal into the background until we have lost that sense of urgency we once had.

When this happens on a diet, it can lead to disappointment. When it happens with our faith it can lead to disaster.  That's why it is so important to keep your faith in the forefront of your mind.  Give it a place of great importance and reverence and make sure it is always on your mind.

Sounds pretty reasonable right?  But in our insanely busy lives, how can we make that happen?  Other than walking around muttering prayers, mantras or positive affirmations all day long, how can one keep their faith in the forefront of their mind?

Jewelry

Get yourself a ring that symbolizes to you your faith. This could be a religious symbol or just a really cool ring that you love, which you buy specifically for the purpose of being a faith reminder.  Maybe you are trying to remind yourself of your faith that the Universe can provide whatever you need whenever you need it. Maybe it is your faith that you can achieve a great goal such as financial independence or owning your own successful business.  Maybe it's something crazy like someday becoming a motivational speaker :-)

A bracelet is another great reminder for the same reason as a ring.  Furthermore, you can get a bracelet engraved or purchase the type of bracelet that lets you attach charms.  For years I have worn an Autism bracelet both to show my support for the cause, and to remind myself to offer up a prayer for my niece each time I see the bracelet.

Why not a necklace?  Well, it's not the ideal format because you can't see your own neck unless you look in a mirror.  A ring or a bracelet will pass through your field of vision millions of times per day, while the necklace will be relegated to mirror encounters only.

Notes to Yourself

I am a huge fan of the Brother P-Touch label maker.  Not only is it a wonder of modern organization, but you can type up cool little notes to yourself and stick them all over your world!  Now if you work in an office you might want to only do one or two of these, but they can be really helpful in focusing your mind.  For instance, I had two on my monitor in my old office.  One said, "thoughts become things" and the other said "healthy, wealthy, wise and happy."  I really need to get my hands on a P-touch so I can label up my laptop.  It's very bleak looking and uninspiring right now, and it could certainly benefit from some happy reminder labels.  Of course sticky-notes work well, and they have the virtue of being easy to change, and they come in really cool colors!  Here's a tip from a pro, go with the extra-sticky version so they stay stuck for a good long time.

At other times in my life I have found that hanging a list of goals, affirmations or ideas on my bathroom mirror was a great way to get my mind on track in the morning.  It helped me to run through a mental checklist and prepare for my day.

Meditation

Sorry gang, but I will always end up here eventually.  Meditation is one practice that all great teachers agree is key.  Every religion has a form of meditative prayer that they espouse, and every motivational teacher shares the benefits of meditation with their students.  By calming your mind and allowing yourself to become one with the Universe and the Divine, you will tap into the greatest source of faith known to man.  By connected each and every day with this source, even if for only a few minutes, you will succeed in keeping your faith and your focus for the long haul and beyond.

Be Less Specific and Get More Happiness!

For years we've all been reading about visualization, and the need to see the specifics of your dreams.  If you want a new car you are supposed to visualize that car down to the color of the trim, the feel of the gear shift in your hand, and the smell of the leather.  In line with the evidence that this technique works, many of us have been applying that same methodology to visualizing more general changes in our lives.  When we want a new relationship or a career change we begin to visualize the specifics of who and what we want.  Seems like a good idea, right?

Well, I'm starting to think that in these cases we need to be less specific in order for the universe to give us what will make us truly happy.  As you'll see in my previous post, I explained how I came to learn that God and the Universe give us exactly what we need, even though sometimes what we need can come in the form of a painful lesson.  At the same time they can give us the life we dream of, if we get out of the way and let them do their thing.

As I mentioned in my last post, a corporate reorganization left me with a new and exciting position.  Following that post something even more wonderful happened.  That re-org had created a vacancy that enabled me to be handed a large promotion!  This promotion is even more perfect for me, and it enables me to help an even larger pool of employees navigate the changes that we need to make in order to stay profitable in this economy.  Since this happened three weeks ago I have been on a huge high.  I eat, sleep, and dream this new role.  I have so many ideas, and so much to learn and I am truly energized.  As I mentioned in my last post, I had really thought that what I needed in order to be happy was a way to work from home as a writer. I certainly didn't think that being a Director in a large corporation was where the happy was at!

Yet here I am, and here's the happy right by my side.  How did that happen?  In early December I stopped visualizing the specifics of my dream. Instead I began focusing on the feeling of happiness.  Even more importantly, I began to note the moments in my everyday life when I felt that happiness.  When I would feel joy or purpose or excitement I would say to myself, "that's what I want more of."  In my prayers each night I would ask God simply to give me continued happiness and fulfillment.  I stopped giving Him specifics on how I thought that might be accomplished.

As I stopped being specific in my visualizations, I began to feel a loosening, both within myself, and in the air around me.  It was as if by visualizing myself working from home each day, sitting at a computer in a space carved out for me in our home office, I had been forcing the fabric of the universe to move in a direction it was resisting.  Kind of like trying to put the round peg in the square hole.  When I stopped pushing, and began having faith in the Universe to take me where I wanted to go, I felt the tension begin to release in my life, and I began to feel a more positive flow of energy around me.

So less than two months after I began my non-specific visualization, I was delivered into a new reality where I love what I do AND I still will have more time in my life to spend with Gracie.  Thanks to having non-center specific duties in my new role, I will be able to take my turn being the parent that stays home to watch Gracie when she's ill.  On snow days, like today, I will be able to work from home and care for her.  Eventually, once I get into a groove I suspect I will even find time to write again on occasion.

So overall, it's a dream come true.

Have you been a little too specific in your visualization about non-material things?  Visualizing a blue car is one thing, but visualizing a blond haired, blue eyed 6ft tall male, when the Universe knows that the dark haired, dark eyed 5'8" guy next door is perfect for you might be a problem.  Try being a little less specific, and focus on the feelings that you want to have more of in your life.  What have you got to lose except a reality that wouldn't have made you happy anyway?

Why Does the Universe Give Me Things I Don't Want?

Over the past two weeks I have learned a wonderful lesson on manifestation and the ways of the Universe.  As you know I focus my intention on being happy and fulfilled.  While I visualize various ways that I think this can be accomplished, I always leave the door open for God and the Universe to do what is best.  You see I realize that what I think I want or need may not actually be what I want or need.  Being a human of little brain can get in the way of true knowing at times.

About a week and a half ago I got some news.  A company reorganization that would put me in a new role.  This new role plays into all of my strengths and none of my weaknesses.  It is something that I will enjoy doing and a position in which I know I can make a positive impact not just on the bottom line, but on the people reporting to me and the people I report to.  You might say it's a bit of a dream job.

The funny thing is that I was not aware that I wanted or needed a dream job.  I've been thinking that writing was my dream job.  Yet when this news was presented to me I became excited, and I felt this moment where the fabric of the Universe shifted around me and I knew, I just knew, that this was the right thing for me right now.

That knowing, that sense of being in the right place, has eluded me for several years, and I had forgotten how good it can feel.  The last time I felt like this was a decade ago in my job with HP.  I looked forward to each new day at work, and my mind was constantly buzzing with ideas and excitement.

While this will certainly mean less time to write, I realize that not writing because I'm doing something else that I love is much better than not writing because I HAVE to do something else that I hate to make a living.  It's an interesting distinction and one that leads me back to my title.

I guess the Rolling Stones said it best, "You can't always, get what you want.  You can try sometimes, but you might find, you get what you need."  No truer words were ever spoken, or sung.

So if you find yourself getting gifts from God and the Universe that don't seem to fit with what you had planned or envisioned, ask yourself if these gifts might actually be what you need.  Are they stepping stones to somewhere else?  Are they forcing you to learn new skills?  Sometimes a gift looks like a tragedy, but in reality it is an opportunity to grow and change, and become ready to accept greater gifts down the road.

No one would ever describe the loss of a spouse as a gift.  Yet, looking back on the past 13 years since Billy's death I can see the path that followed that horrible loss.  I see the changes in myself that I was forced to make that have in turn helped me to become a person who can help others.  Everything you have read here on my blog is a direct outgrowth of that powerful event, which shocked my system to the core, and fundamentally changed my view of life.

It was not anything I ever visualized or asked for by any means, but it was a gift in its own way.  And I realize that the Universe and God work in mysterious ways. Now, more than ever, I am sure that they give you exactly what you need, when you need it and not a moment sooner.

I Believe in the Power of Prayer...So, Please Pray

I have just heard awful news about a 2 year old little girl, who is losing her fight with cancer.

There is no longer anything that can be done to save her.

My heart is broken for her family.  I do not know them personally, but have been following her story through a dear friend, and I am at a loss for words.

Please pray for her family to have strength through this, and please pray for this child to have a peaceful transition.  She is being helped with the pain, and will be leaving this place in a few weeks, and I have faith she will move on to somewhere better, and she will be in peace.

At times like this it is so easy to question and to lose faith.  Yet I know personally that for the people at the core of this heartbreak, their faith is the only thing that will keep them even remotely sane.

Please keep them in your hearts and prayers and hug your children really, really tight tonight.

Feeling Blessed and Grateful

Today was not a good day for some of the people I love.  A friend with a newborn baby facing a health crisis and another dear friend facing the loss of her husband's job.  Seems like so many people got very bad economic news today and I can sense the fear and tension around me.

Luckily, for now, Bill and I have jobs that are safe.  Still I know that if our jobs disappeared tomorrow we would be fine.  We have been there before and we know that nothing can break us and that we will always survive and thrive.

As I sit here this afternoon feeling slightly lightheaded after plowing though a huge volume of work I am pausing to be grateful.  While I am grateful for my job, I find that my true gratitude revolves around those things in life that cannot be quantified and therefore can never be taken away.

I am grateful for the love of my family and the joy that they bring me.

I am grateful for the special way that Gracie looks at me.

I am grateful for the love my husband showers upon me, even when I feel undeserving.

I am grateful for my friends old and new, who bring a depth and richness to my life that I would not trade for any material goods.

I am grateful for my faith, funky and nontraditional as it may be.

I am grateful that I was given a gift that I have figured out how to use.

I am grateful to be alive.

The rest is all noise.

Whistle While You Work

Snow White really hit the nail on the head with that little song of hers about making work a more joyful endeavor! People having been whistling, singing, and dancing while working probably since song was invented. Ever wonder why?

A Spoon Full of Sugar Helps the Medicine Go Down

Yes I'm in full-on Disney mode today, sorry.  The classic Mary Poppins tune Spoonful of Sugar clearly explains why we should all whistle while we work.  Finding some way to make your work fun makes even the most dreary work more fun.  While this idea is very handy while you are shoveling snow, or cleaning house it is also my number one secret for being happy every single day!

Think about people training for the armed forces.  You know how they chant those songs while they march and run?  Sure they do that to help them keep time, but if that were all the singing did, they could just sing "one, two, three, four". Instead they sing songs, and those songs make the grueling runs easier to bear.  Chain gangs and field hands sang while working for years for just the same reason.  Music is a balm to the soul, and it can make even the worst work a little bit easier to bear.

Be Happy Where You Are

Not everyone is blessed with a job that they absolutely love.  For many of us, we do what we do because we need to pay the bills, and meet our commitments.   While we may be striving towards financial and career freedom in the future, in the here and now we do something that is definitely not our passion.  Does that mean we have to wait through years of boredom and misery?   Heck no!

As a matter of fact, I suspect that until we learn to find joy in whatever it is we do right now, our dreams of a bright tomorrow will never come to fruition.

So, we must find a way to make what we do right now more enjoyable.  For me that means that I turn on the tunes as soon as I get to work.  On the days when I forget to open iTunes, I later wonder why I feel so sleepy or low, and then it hits me!  No music!

If you are not able to listen to music, or sing at your desk while working, you can still play music in your mind.  This is a great technique to do when you are doing a repetitive task, or something that doesn't take much focus - like conference calls :-)  Just think about your favorite songs, and hit the play button in your brain.  I like to dig up songs from my childhood for this purpose, because they challenge my memory while perking me up.  Songs like "Whistle While You Work" and "A Spoonful of Sugar" are in heavy rotation, as a matter of fact.

Dancing With The Stars...Well, Not Exactly

Dancing is also a great way to release stress, so if you can sneak a little booty-shaking into your day, go for it.  I've got mad dancing- in-my-chair skills.  Really, there should be a competition for this.  Something like Dancing With the CEO's.  We could get Bill Gates on board I'm sure. He seems like a fun guy.  I would totally win.  I'm bustin' a move right now while I write.  It keeps my back limber, burns a few extra calories and makes me feel good.

So whistle, sing and dance to help your medicine go down and make today a happy day.

A Second Chance at Life for the Passengers and Crew of US Airways Flight 1549

I joined most of the country in watching the second by second rescue of the passengers and crew of US Airways Flight 1549, which landed gently in the Hudson River after losing both engines on January 25th.  I held my breath, I prayed, and I wondered what I would have done if I had been on that plane.

Would I have kept calm?  Would I have been able to help others, or would I have been so panicked that I just pushed my way through to the door?

Once I was aware that they were all safe I began to say massive prayers of gratitude.  I truly felt as if I had just watched a miracle unfold.  I cried as I heard the stories of the ferrymen, who immediately gunned their engines and headed towards the crash when they saw it, not even waiting for instructions or distress calls.  They were there on the site in minutes like angels ready to pull people from the frigid waters.  I was overwhelmed with love for my fellow man, as I heard story after story of heroism and kindness.

As I went to sleep that night, I again said prayers of thanks, and then I began to wonder what was next for the survivors.   What would they say and do when reunited with their families?  Would this be a major turning point in their lives, or would they get back to business and life as usual without searching for deeper meaning in their survival?

Some stories have already begun to surface, and they give me hope that the survivors are heeding the message they were given by the Universe.

Newsday published an article recounting passenger Beverly Mills' return home to her husband Mike.  I love that the reporter mentioned how much they were touching each other.  I think the thought of losing someone reminds you how very precious the ability to hug, touch and kiss someone truly is.

Beverly also said she'd been taking a week off to be with her husband.  She is a long distance commuter, by the way.  I wonder if this incident will make her rethink her career choices.  Will this week of rest give her time to consider other options that do not keep her away from home as often?  Will her husband Mike raise the subject of a change?  Or will they take this gift that they've been given and hide it away in some mental scrapbook only to be looked at from time to time?

The Charlotte Observer has a great article, Survivors Seek Meaning, New Purpose After Miracle, that explores the religious and spiritual reactions of some of the survivors.  One survivor, Don Norton does not consider himself a religious man, but I love this quote from the article:

He's says he's still struggling to figure out why he's not dead.

Was it a warning to change his life? Or a case of a master pilot using his God-given talents to save them all?

Norton knows one thing: He feels that God wants him to talk about it with others, to tell them what a precious thing life is.

I hope that Don continues to wonder what this incident means in his life, and allows it to have the profound affect it should indeed have.

I guess I have that same hope for all of us.  I hope that we all take the time to meditate on what happened out there over the Hudson, and reflect on what meaning it has for all of our lives.  I have put myself in one of those seats, and envisioned hearing the pilot warn us to "brace for impact", and I have tried to use my gut reactions as a guide to what is important in my life.

Once again the thoughts of unmade beds, an untidy living room or dirty dishes in the sink, did not immediately spring to mind.  What a surprise - NOT.  My thoughts were of Gracie and Bill.  I didn't even get the idea that dying would mean leaving unfinished business. I really think I have gotten to a place where I accept that death is just moving on to something different and that it will happen when it is meant to happen.

What I did take away from this exercise was a reaffirmation that your family and friends are what really matter in life.  Accomplishment, career success, financial freedom and all of the other things I strive for in life are nice, but they don't really matter in the end.

Based on the number of passengers on that plane who, upon hearing the phrase "brace for impact" dialed or texted to their loved ones, I suspect this is a universal truth.  I notice none of them called the office to make sure someone would be available to cover their next meeting!

Take some time as soon as you can to put yourself aboard flight 1549 and imagine what would would go through your mind as you thought you were about to die.  Then imagine what you would do differently having been given a second chance at life.

Then go do it!

Steve Martile Has Me Thinking About Visualization

Many of you will be familiar with Steve Martile of Freedom Education from his guest post entitled It's Lonely at the Top, which appeared here last month.  Steve is a huge inspiration to me as he shows what can happen when someone grasps the concepts of personal growth at an early age.  He is so young, yet he is accomplishing so much!  His excitement for life is contagious, and he is wonderfully committed to sharing his knowledge and experience with the world.

Yesterday I read an article on Steve's blog about visualization.  Basically he pointed out that there are two ways to visualize.  Either you are seeing yourself doing what you dream of, or being where you dream of being - this is 3rd person visualization - almost like watching a movie of yourself.  The other, and more powerful visualization takes on a 1st person perspective, where you are actually experiencing the vision.  So, for example you could either see a movie of yourself driving down the road in a sports car, or you could visualize the view from your own eyes, as you grip the steering wheel, and feel your feet on the pedals, and feel your hand shifting gears.

Steve's article explains why each type of visualization is valuable, and when to use each kind.  It really got me thinking.

I realized that, while I do often visualize in the 1st person, as I mentioned in my comment on the blog, more often I visualize in the 3rd person.  As I lay down for my mediation last night, and began my visualization, I saw myself sitting at my desk in my home office.  I immediately thought of Steve's post and realized just how often I do the 3rd person approach.  I was actually very surprised.

After you read Steve's post I suggest you pay attention for the next few days to your own visualizations and you just might find a pattern you were unaware of.

Thank you for the insight Steve!!!